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yeah, im that into it

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26th February 2010

4:05pm: friends forever?
(fuck, i am a jerk for writing this, but i really need to get it off my chest....)

Have you ever had a friend that totally changed when they got a boy/girlfriend? man, one of my friends is the worst. Before she started dating said boyfriend, she was nice and totally her own person. Now that she is dating boyfriend, all of a sudden she is a punk rocker who knows everything. She doesn't do anything that is not somehow related to bf. She lies about having a "punk rock past" (ex: "yeah, i used to have a mohawk, and wore bondage pants..." Why the fuck would you want to lie about that?!?) I liked her better before she was a total fucking poser. I overheard her telling a story that I had told her had happened to me, but she was saying that it happened to her... i kinda think that is the last straw, i really need to talk to her about this. FUCK! also, when I had finished a show with Salted, she was selling tapes and saying thanks to all the people who where complimenting my preformance, even talking about what WRITING the songs MENT TO HER. I'm really annoyed by this, I should stop bitching to fucking livejournal.
Current Mood: fed the fuck up

13th January 2010

12:58pm: the itch
Happy self modification day!!
12g conch, hell yes!
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27th December 2009

11:19am: laying in bed still, waiting for the day to start.

24th December 2009

5:00pm: i wish i didn't have to go to your house. i just want to stay home.

1st December 2009

9:17pm: tuesday night
went to work.
thought about killing eileen.
came home.
cleaned house.
started to cook.
needed more stuff.
basket bike to market.

a cascade of leaves washes the sin away

got back to the house.
put on World War XXIV.
am finishing cooking now...

dinner with the wife soon.

my life is ruling.

25th November 2009

12:23pm: sick again...
all i wanted was to sing a little.
damnit.

8th October 2009

8:36pm: I am waiting for you again here. Tonight was supposed to be time for the two of us. It really hurts my fucking feelings that you are not here right now! Where are you?!? This is so dumb, I am not even sure why I waste my time with you anymore. Lets not lie to each other... the love is fucking gone.

27th September 2009

8:40pm: hell yeah, fake thanksgiving
sunny bbqs
ian ian ian ian ian !

today is awsome!!!

19th September 2009

11:40am: i need to put this somewhere, and this came to mind.
4-6 servings
Time 1 hour 10 minutes
Tools
medium sauce pan or Dutch oven with lid
wooden spoon
cookie sheet

Ingredients
1 T olive oil
3 medium onions, thinly sliced
3 c leeks, well-cleaned and chopped
¾ c shallots, minced
6 cloves garlic, minced
4 medium scallions, chopped
6 c strong vegetable stock
1 T soy sauce
1 T molasses
1½ t salt
pepper
1 batch croutons
fresh chives, chopped

Directions
Heat the oil over low heat, add onions and leeks, and sauté until soft, about 10 minutes.
Add shallots, garlic, and scallions and cook, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes. Increase to medium heat and continue cooking for 10 minutes, until onions are brown. Use the spatula to release any onions that stick to the bottom of the pan.

Stir in stock, soy sauce, and molasses, cover, and bring to boil. Add salt, partially cover, lower heat, and simmer for 30 minutes. Stir in pepper, taste, and adjust seasonings. You can also add more stock if you prefer a thinner soup.

Serve hot, topped with croutons and chives.
Current Mood: fuckin' hungry

18th August 2009

5:54pm: broken chain
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24th July 2009

1:30am: today i:
woke up in a bundle of sweatshirts
cleaned my house
went to coffee
went to lunch with courtney and rosie
stole food for my shift
went to long haul
hungout with an old friend
came home
watched simpsons
talked with ian
tried to sleep
couldn't
tried to make myself sleepy

(this morning)
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Current Mood: restless

21st July 2009

11:49pm: what the fuck
I'm a fucking jerk.
I thinkIi always expect to much.
I feel like shit, damnit.

today was supposed to be date night. We can't possible have a "romantic" time during a time set aside JUST FOR ROMANCE. I expect to fucking much. I am a person impossible to satisfy. I don;t really know what to do. I fucking love our time together. I really do love you. The only problem is, I am feeling so lost at sea. I want you so bad. I want you to understand. I really want this to work, but I need more. shit. I want I want I want...

damnit.
fuck
shit.
I wish I could just hurry up and go to fucking sleep.
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Current Mood: cold

19th July 2009

10:01pm: sunday
today I:
woke up late
drove to the bike co-op
took out a headset
put it on Ian's new bike
Installed a new BB on the same new bike
fought with ian
went to courtney's birthday party for one beer only
drove to go baby sit
babysat (the family that i am baby sitting for just hit my car and left a basketball sized dent to boot)
typed this bullshit

...
I want to go home!!!!!!

3rd July 2009

3:27pm: fridays off
Im sitting in the kitchen, listening to Ian sing some Townes Van Zandt


that shit makes me cry

2nd July 2009

4:03pm: what am I to do with an afternoon?
Today I:
woke up
rode my bike to work
taught children to sew
drank some coffee
taught a class about solar technology to different children
rode my bike home
sat around
got kinda bummed
hopped on my bike again
rode to indian rock
felt small
rode home
can't shake that empty feeling
put some food in my belly
read The Road
lost my fucking glasses
got on the computer...

...wrote this stupid list.

I am a afternoon murderer
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6th May 2009

2:00pm: my head is going to explode
it hurts so bad. I don't want to cry at work.

20th April 2009

2:48pm: So, i got laid off the other week.
Im still totally in denial about it. I'm heart broken about it.

30th March 2009

12:42pm: today is a good day
the weather is fucking perfect
i had a great lunch
IAN GOT A JOB WITH SPECIAL T!!!
Im going to the city tonight for a show at annie's
I have a nice tan setting in :)
Im just a happy girl!
Current Mood: jazzed

25th February 2009

1:48pm: yesterday, i was really upset. I thought that a friend was TOTALLY talking shit. She was. We talked about it at my dinner party, and resolved alot of things. Thanks to all that gave me support, here and through other avenues.

17 people at my house last night, fuck yea!

24th February 2009

12:23pm: clenched fists and angry fucking tears...
I can't help but feel like shit today. I feel like I'm being attacked from every angle of life. I feel like shit, and i don't know what to do to make myself feel better. I am supposed to have a dinner at my house tonight, but I really don't feel like feeding people that talk shit. Fill your mouths with food, so you can keep your opinions to your own damn self.

fuck you guys. fuck you for being so superficial. fuck you for not telling me to my face. fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou.

whatever. being mad won't help anything. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of feeling like I need to justify myself to you. I thought that our relationship was stronger then that.




this is fucking stupid.
Current Mood: drained

18th February 2009

3:06pm: portland, day 3
sitting in a music store, listening to Ian play a 12 string.

falling in love with his fucking voice...

16th February 2009

11:50am: i have no better place to put this..
I cant fucking wait ...
to land
to grab pumpkin
to run out of the airport
to dive into your embrace

i have missed you the days that you have been gone so very much!


ok, enough gushing...
Current Mood: excited

13th February 2009

1:51pm: bear puppy vs. mouse puppy
Um.


fuck yeah.
you're so awesome, how'd you get to be so cute?

on another note, i need to understand that some people do not understand my kind of love. I am a tribes woman, a community minded individual that only wants the betterment and sustainment of the people that I love. All we have is each other, thats all.

"and in the final hour, we will stand before a sun that will burn our bodies,
BURN TOGETHER AS ONE.
Forever will be, as long as our love lasts"

10th February 2009

12:42pm: rose city
Im going to portland on the 16th-22nd.
Im bringing pumpkin.
Sanj will be there on the 20th, and we will party.
Ian is hitching up there to meet me a few days before I go.

fuckin' romance

4th February 2009

2:05pm: I made the best food ever last night.
Vegan sushi- BOOM!

My favorite was fried yam, avocado, fake cream cheese and green bean... mmmmmm
a HUGE bottle of sake didn't hurt either :)

Im actually pretty happy right now. I feel like things in general are going rather well. I'm becoming so much more self-relient, and self confident.

Yay, Kate!
Current Mood: cheerful
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